He was well-bred, well-educated, well-dressed and well-spoken. In short, he was the epitome of feline grace.

By the time he retired from an active internet life, Bono had fan club members in 60 countries, 49 of the 50 U.S. states, and 7 of the 8 Australian states. Widely known as The Cat Who Rules the Web, he and his personal assistant, Ms. Ali, ensured that certain standards were maintained.

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In recent years Bono and Ms. Ali have been dismayed by the debasement of the feline image online, as bipeds have ascribed to felines their own inferior standards, from appalling grammar to unfathomable culinary preferences.

This. must. not. stand. The old order must be reestablished.

But first . . . . a moment of Zen: